10 Lessons I Learned In My 40’s

Turning 50 a couple of years ago had me reflecting in a way I didn’t expect. My forties were the decade of transformation — full-on soul excavation. They weren’t easy, but they brought me home to myself. And through all the unraveling, healing, and remembering, I picked up some truths I want to share with you - not as advice, but as lived experience.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I know. Obvious, right? But knowing it and living it are two different things. I had to get radically honest and start making changes… investing in myself, creating boundaries, honoring what I needed. It was scary and messy. But staying the same was scarier.

2. Embodiment is everything.
Knowing something in your mind isn’t enough. You have to be it in your body. Once I understood that, healing took on a whole new level. This work is not about concepts. It’s about becoming.

3. Gratitude will open your heart and your life.
I don’t mean surface-level “I should be grateful” kind of gratitude. I mean the kind that you feel in your bones. The kind that makes your heart ache in the best way. That’s what expands you. That’s what brings in more.

4. Every step matters, even the confusing ones.
We all want to skip ahead, but the timeline unfolds exactly as it’s meant to. Every experience, every “setback,” has been guiding me. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense until years later. But I trust it now.

5. Healing happens in layers.
You’re never done. You just get deeper. Every time I thought I had cleared something, a new layer would emerge. This path requires patience and compassion for yourself. It’s not linear, it’s a spiral.

6. Unconditional self-love changes how you see the world.
The more love I cultivated for myself, the more love I had for others. I stopped judging. Stopped projecting. And I started seeing people, especially the ones I love, with softer eyes. That’s the power of inner peace.

7. Your triggers are teachers.
They’re not here to destroy you, they’re here to reveal what still needs love. Once I started getting curious about what activated me instead of reactive, I found freedom I didn’t know was possible.

8. Letting go of what people think will set you free.
This one took time, especially when it came to my spirituality. I used to be terrified of being misunderstood. But now, I’m anchored. My connection to God, to Holy Spirit, to Source… it’s not performative. It’s embodied, and it doesn’t need to be explained.

9. Be honest with yourself about what you want now.
The dreams you set five years ago might not be yours anymore. Let them go if they don’t fit. Wipe the slate clean and create from where you are now, not where you were then.

10. It’s all connected.
Your body, your emotions, your purpose, your pain, your joy. It’s all one sacred web. When I look back, I can see how every yes, every tear, every gut instinct, every detour… it all led me exactly where I needed to be.

So here I am.

Not who I used to be. Not fully sure who I’m becoming.

But I’m here. Open. Trusting.

And that’s more than enough.