As I sat there crying into the waves, I asked God, "What is this?" And I heard it clearly: "Who you are becoming cannot seek outside validation."

It hit me like a wave. This pain, this ache, this trigger, it was revealing something. A pattern. A wound. A belief I didn’t even know I was still carrying. The part of me that had been looking for applause, affirmation and acknowledgment.

Picture this: your left hand is your feminine energy. Your right hand is your masculine. Bring them together in a prayer position in front of your heart. That’s alignment. That’s union. That’s your true path forward. But if your hands are pointing in different directions, your energy is too. No wonder things feel off.

You are your own healer. You always have been.It’s beautiful to have guides. It’s powerful to have someone holding space for you. But never forget — the healing lives inside you. It’s you showing up. You breathing. You moving through it. You can’t just read the books or listen to the podcasts. You have to become the work.

I didn’t know what I believed back then. But now I know that our souls pick experiences and lessons to learn in each lifetime, and we keep repeating the lessons until we figure them out. We keep evolving and growing, and that’s the beautiful thing about cosmic healing. We get to rediscover what’s possible and experience the joy and excitement of it all over again. 

Before I could ever hold space for someone else’s transformation, I had to walk through my own. Almost seven years ago, my life looked fine on the outside—thriving massage therapy practice, wonderful husband, healthy kids, great friends. But something inside me was stirring. I had this deep, nagging sense that I wasn’t living to my fullest potential.